Monthly Archives: October 2011

The 5 things you really need for winter

Posted on October 23, 2011 | Comments Off

I don’t know about my fellow New Englanders but I am getting a little stressed about the approaching (encroaching) winter season. The nightmare I have is that last year’s record-breaking horrendous winter will look tame by comparison.

This year, though, I am going to be ready!

Even the snow people were stressed last winter.

Forget the roof rakes, ice melt and shovels … according to my extensive research, here is what you must stock up on in preparation for winter:

1. Vodka

This is the perfect cold weather beverage to have on-hand. Think of the winter-themed White Russians. And you can make Jell-o shooters with your friends. Vodka looks like water, so it is almost like being healthy. All-in-all, a perfect winter condiment.

2. Cake mix

Well, I do like stirring cake mix. It is really soothing and distracting to pop the little batter bubbles. And decorating is a lot of fun. Just steer clear of the sprinkles and those little candy flakes. They might be too similar to snow and frighten you out of your vodka-induced mellowness.

3. Frozen pizza

Get the healthy kind, of course. Chop up vegetables and other toppings. Just be careful with a knife after drinking the White Russians. Oh, bonus: Running the oven is a good way to get the kitchen warm and toasty.

4. Tequila

When you feel like taking a break from the Vodka drinks, slip away for a bit to Margaritaville. It will help you remember that somewhere out there are white sand beaches. The lime juice gets your fruit for the day in and is packed with vitamins.

5. Movies

Don’t be a wimp and get movies with summer themes, distracting love stories or exotic warm weather locales. Show your family and friends how tough you are by renting films like “Misery,” “Into Thin Air: Death on Everest” and “Alive.” A good family film for winter is “Eight Below.”

What did you really need last winter?

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Posted in Being Seasonal, Learning from nature, Simple pleasures

The taboo topic of LOVE

Posted on October 19, 2011 | Comments Off

People joke about feeling sentimental and loving. We wrack our brains screwing up the courage to admit feelings of love. And we don’t talk about love as a matter of course in polite conversation.

Other topics like sex, war and politics are fair game. Everyone has feelings about these topics. Sometimes strong emotions easily conveyed. But heaven forbid we were to have love as something people talk about in their daily lives. Something you chatted about with the clerk at the grocery store or the guy who fixed your washing machine.

What’s up with that?

It is on everyone’s mind. Everyone wants to feel loved and accepted. It is a common thread through humanity and in our hearts. And yet it is denied to people in their daily lives all too often.

People should not have to seek it. There should be an abundance on offer everyday. After all, love is not love until you give it away. But, I think the crux and pity of it all is that we people mostly do not know how to love. So, we are awkward about the topic.

And, really, we should all easily be experts.

Some might believe that love is just something we utter in a darkened room or in passing at the end of a phone call or email or get together. But it is an emotion that is all-encompassing, enriching and deserving of more than a cursory glance.

Last week, I was getting a coffee drink at a place I go to on a fairly regular basis. I know most of the people who work there. The guy preparing the drinks on this particular day is one of my favorites.

He is just really nice. And really courteous for someone so young. Plus, he seems to care about what he does.

Well, that day I made a comment about how I like the way he prepares the coffee drinks. A lady working there said that he has a secret ingredient.

I said, oh, he makes the coffee drinks with love.

The lady said, no, he IS love.

I thought that was kind of an odd statement to make. But this guy, when you look at him, appears to not have a mean bone in his body. He just seems friendly and kind.

And, when you think about it, that really is love.

I replied that people don’t talk about love much in general conversation. And they both agreed, which made me feel kind of sad.

I have been thinking about this. Love should be THE ultimate easy topic to discuss. It IS the best thing around. And, it might be the only real thing there is out there – and inside.

There is nothing bad about love in its purest form. It is the ultimate in organic and natural.

Maybe like with natural healing remedies – it cannot be patented so there is no money in it. Hmm, maybe love IS the ultimate healing remedy. Maybe if love were a commodity it would be everywhere.

But love is not for sale. Just ask anyone who tries to buy it. Love is free. The one caveat being you gotta give it away to get it.

Nothing else really matters though.

Does it?

So, why is it so hard for people to discuss? Why do we give so much more attention to the shallow – or ephemeral – aspects of life? Why don’t we focus more on love.

Maybe, for many of us, we never really learn how to love. Or, maybe our innate capacity to love is snuffed out. Maybe the inherent hurt in life destroys our ability to love to a degree.

And maybe we should make it a priority to recapture the feeling of love we have when we come into the world.

Maybe love should be taught in schools? I mean, most of us can say, I never use Algebra in my daily life but we all seek love all the time. What is more vital for our happiness and success in life?

I know a lot of people who can do math either in their heads or on a computer. But I know very few in happy marriages. And then our leaders say that families are the foundation of our society.

Curriculum changes perhaps?

Two Pugs who know how to love.

I think this need for an openness about love is a reason people have pets. Dogs, for instance, will love you unconditionally. All you have to do is be nice to them and they will give you all they have to give.

And that reward is love – warm, caring, affectionate and joyful.

Maybe in this world of gotta have, need to get, we have become too evolved for love. And maybe this is a big part of returning to a simpler way of living.

Learn to love. Make it a priority. It is, after all, the most important thing you will ever do in your life. And that is worth discussing out in the open.

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Posted in society

They should not have remade “Footloose”

Posted on October 16, 2011 | Comments Off

I don’t really care if the “Footloose” remake is a good movie or a bad one. To me, it is just a symbol of the lack of originality, creativity and effort in our society.

The new version of the movie, which opened this weekend with lackluster numbers, is basically a reconstruction. For all of you out there who watch television, it is a repeat but not a repeat.

You cannot duplicate originality.

A film is unlike a house, where the paint peels and floors scuff. The first “Footloose” is always available in its original glory, sparkling clean.

And, in fact, I would hazard a guess that a large part of what people connected with in the first film was/is its originality.

And even if the techniques have been used again in the interim and the story has been alluded to since its premiere. There will always be an innocence — and a spark of recognition of the creation of something new.

Try as you might, you cannot duplicate that.

Kevin Bacon owns the starring role in the O.R.I.G.I.N.A.L. And if you review popular culture since the film’s premiere nearly three decades ago you will see that his performance has been emulated and revered.

But, then, in large part popular culture here in 2011 is bland, ineffective and ephemeral. Few seem willing to take an original stand or act with real vision.

When I started this blog, I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what would make it popular. Eventually I realized that I did not care. That I just wanted to write something that I would enjoy reading.

Of course I want others to read it, but I cannot project what will make that happen.

I guess what I am getting at, is it seems lately that there are more and more committees trying to second-guess the public and outsmart them. And the people on these committees are not experts on people or all-seeing. How could they know what people will connect to when it hasn’t been created yet?

The best any of us can do is speak from the heart and try to produce something genuine.

The original version of Footloose had heart and soul and asked some timeless questions. It used classic storytelling. The soundtrack was great. Songs included, “Holding out for a hero,” “Let’s hear it for the boys” and the title track, “Footloose.”

And I don’t really care how much respect the retelling cast and crew used in their efforts. That is just saying, I really respect someone else’s idea. Nice but it doesn’t make you copying that idea particularly innovative. They are two separate issues.

If they wanted to capitalize on the first “Footloose” maybe they should have done a sequel. They could have followed the original characters to 27 years later. Seen what impact their efforts to restore joy to their town manifested.

Maybe it would have been nice to see the legacy they created by standing up for themselves and their community? And it might have reminded people of how important it can be to take a stand and follow your heart to do something nobody else dares to do.

Because, hey, it gives future generations the impetus to try the same approach. And to know that anyone can make a difference.

The original film stirred something in audiences and in popular culture in the mid-80s. It changed things, pushed things along on a path. The retread might revisit that but it will not recapture it.

But, then, I don’t think the re-filmmakers are out for originality. And so, ultimately, they might reflect a large portion of our society in 2011 even if they fail to redefine it.

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Posted in Film, society

The Dinner Table

Posted on October 4, 2011 | Comments Off

I did not realize growing up just how significant family meals were. Several times a week my family would gather at our dining room table for our evening meal. My two brothers and I were expected to either participate in the preparation or the cleaning up. My parents would ask us about school, our friends and hobbies.

The importance of the meals that I see in hindsight has to do with our bonding and feeling a part of a whole. They were also for my parent’s education as to what was going on in our lives – and who we were becoming.

My brothers and I did most of the talking. Thinking back, we probably did reveal a lot about ourselves at those meals. Not that we were paying particular attention. But I figure my parents were listening.

As we got older, meals would sometimes be take-out Chinese food. Even then, though, my brothers and I would be hands-on with setting up or cleaning up.

It is this connection with food, with nurturing one another and nourishment, that is, in my opinion, both literally and figuratively a big part of human development.

Through time, people’s lives revolve around feeding ourselves and our loved ones. Whether it is bringing home the bacon or serving it up. Whether we are eating too much or too little, healthy or unhealthy, from our own yards or someone else’s fields … sharing food is a big part of communities and family.

Nothing, in my opinion, bonds us exactly the same way – or with the same meaning – as sharing a meal. Whether it is at a restaurant or at home, the common table is a place to come together and learn about one another. To nourish our bodies and souls communally.

I look forward to plans for dinner, lunch, coffee, tea. For beer or wine and shared experiences. I typically prefer to cook at home over going to a restaurant. But meeting out works better sometimes.

We should only eat with those who feed our minds and souls. To place food in the mix of an association that is toxic doesn’t really go down well at all. I think it adds an air of dissociation to the process of food assimilation. If we are not connecting with the person or people sharing our meal we are not really connecting to our food either.

I come back to common connections a lot in this blog. There really is nothing more important. Nothing more simple yet complex. Kinda like food.

A while back I had a conversation with a lady at Rockefeller Center in New York City. (I am pretty sure I have mentioned this meeting before in my blog.) We met each other that night at the skating rink. She was visiting from England. Her husband had surprised her with the trip for her birthday.

The lady from England and I talked about our lives and life in general. I don’t remember all the specifics but I do recall one thing. A question we raised for one another. What, besides survival basics like food, shelter, clothes and water, do people need to be happy.

We agreed that in order to be happy we all need to feel a sense of belonging.

And there is no better place to solidify that connection than at the dinner table.

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Posted in cooking, Feeling Connected, Nourishment Reunion, society

Social media/networking “experts” seek new jobs

Posted on October 4, 2011 | Comments Off

It must be hard to find new avenues of employment when you have egg on your face. But that, I imagine, is what many so-called experts in networking online are trying to do right about now.

As far as I can tell, the people who count on things like Facebook, Twitter, WordPress or LinkedIn to drum up new business are not being completely realistic, or well-served.

Not that I’m an expert or anything.

Think about it though. Who is actually following these things? Do the people with jobs, experience and money look for places to spend or people to hire on social networking sites?

Or is it just a bunch of wannabes competing for the promise of a pot of gold that the social media “experts” have sold them? And how sound asleep do we think these clients are really?

Oh, you have a Facebook profile or page? LinkedIn? So do I! Who cares? They are a dime a dozen. About 92% of what I see on my Facebook feed is promotion. Of a business, cause or some other agenda.

And, really, the bulk of my blog’s readership is through search engines, feed subscriptions, offline friends and business associates. I still post things on Facebook and LinkedIn but don’t consider those the best (or only) avenues of promotion. I would hope that my work speaks for itself.

Where is the SOCIAL in online social networking anyway?

I looked it up and there are many definitions for “social.” My favorite is “pertaining to, devoted to, or characterized by friendly companionship or relations” which I got from definitions.net.

The way people hawk their “expertise” online on social networking sites is kinda lame at this point. Does anyone think these people are experts just because they can provide links to articles pertaining to their field? Really, all a large number of them are doing is telling us things we could figure out ourselves if we just exercised a little common sense. If we were motivated to learn and think for ourselves.

It seems a tad short-sighted to me the way people have devoted so much time and energy to learning the intricacies of these networking sites. I find myself chortling a bit at the offers for Webinars and software and coaching meant to enhance my online “social” experience.

Could we, instead, try and teach people to engage in conversations of a friendly and open manner? To connect with others?

I think the best uses of the Internet have always been entertainment, information and purchasing.

My social experience tends to be conversations I have on the phone or in-person. With all the online hoopla that I just couldn’t give my all to I was beginning to wonder if I am a social person really. But it turns out my social abilities are fine. They are just offline with people I connect with well.

Last winter, I called up someone to come over and give me an estimate on plowing my driveway. He said he could just come by and look and tell me over the phone how much he would charge. Something I guess a lot of people find convenient. But I said I would rather he come when I was home. He agreed, saying he prefers that.

It was good to meet him. To establish a connection. To meet the person I was going to depend on to give me access to the rest of the world during one of the most snow-laden winters ever.

As it turned out, him and I went on to become friends. Social in-person, phone calls, the works.

And it might never have happened if we had not met in-person that first day.

Hanging out talking is nice. So is sharing life experiences or just a laugh. Connecting one-on-one is the best social media as far as I am concerned. And it expands your horizons in ways no Facebook page can hope to achieve.

Nobody can duplicate the flesh and blood you.

Maybe all the social media experts can devote themselves now to world peace or feeding the hungry. Ya know, something with a future.

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Posted in Community, Feeling Connected, society, The Internet

It’s in the way you buy

Posted on October 2, 2011 | Comments Off

Signs that energy, health and cost conscious consumers do change things are everywhere if you look. Just today, I was online and saw an article about purchasing appliances. One of the focuses of the story was energy- and cost-saving of different brands and models.

All you have to do is go to a supermarket to see that asking for organic and local products is having an impact. And, well, magazines and newspapers and marketing professionals are featuring all the catchwords and phrases having to do with farms and green living.

So, the next time you consider a purchase just know that these things do matter.

The issue I am running round in my head at the moment though is that of craftsmen and fixing things instead of disposing.

I wonder how I can make it heard that I want to buy things that can be fixed if they break. Or, better yet, that are built to last.

Yesterday, facing the outdoors on one of the first cooler days of autumn, I went through my closet looking for something warm to wear. I ended up with a thick rugby-type shirt that I purchased – are you sitting down? – more than 20 years ago.

The color is only slightly faded. The material is completely intact. The metal zipper and stitching are all in impeccable shape. And this is a garment I have worn many, many, many times. And I am not easy on my clothes.

One of the cordless phones in my house is probably between 10 and 20 years old. It works great. You can make a phone call and both parties can hear one another just fine.

Imagine that.

About a year ago, I had to buy a new battery for it. The battery – are you sitting down? – cost $20. The saleslady suggested I just buy a new phone for the same price.

Nah. They don’t make phones like they used to, I responded.

Someone suggested I get new hardware for my kitchen cabinets. To update them. The ones I have, in my opinion, are really kinda beautiful. They have a design on them – not particularly dated either, more timeless classic – and are heavyweight metal.

I was at a home supply store and checked out their cabinet hardware. It was not nearly as nice and seemed really expensive to me.

I think that this type of thing is endemic of the direction we’re taking with the goods we buy and sell. Whether it is food, appliances or phones. Less and less things are built to last, nourish or fulfill us the way that they used to back in the good ole days.

Yes, manufacturers are focusing more on energy saving techniques and stores are heeding our call for more local and organic selections. But let’s not stop. Let’s ask for and require durability and quality. Let’s buy things that last or can be fixed.

And maybe we are the ones responsible for being able to fix what we own. I know that for me the most painful checks I write are for over-inflated repair bills.

What about you? What is it you want for the betterment of daily life? Maybe all you have to do is ask and collectively we can make that difference. It does work.

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Posted in Community, food choices, Our food system, society