Category Archives: Feeling Connected

Young hearts, be brave

Posted on May 18, 2013 | Leave a comment
How can we make progress if we're afraid to get wet?

How can we make progress if we’re afraid to get wet?

If I was a songwriter, today I would write about being brave and free and young at heart. What are we, after all, without our liberties?

The two closest songs I have found this afternoon to express what I am feeling are “Young Americans” by David Bowie and “Young Turks” by Rod Stewart.

Interesting that both titles include “young.”

What is age? What is “young”?

Do we lose ambition for the true expression of who we are and what we believe in as we age chronologically? Must we?

In a lot of ways, we regain what we felt when we were young and free as we age because we care less about what others think. And if life has beat some of our spirit out of us we end up searching to reclaim our sense of self.

A question becomes – Who are we if we give up our voices in order to fit a mold? Do we really want a group or community that does not want who we really are or what we can candidly offer?

I have noticed that the older I get the less I care about the BS that others expect. Maybe some never lose this feeling. I envy them.

And I find myself listening to the music from decades ago that stirs in me what was once the source of my passion.

As a journalist, I see people spin the truth and act with concern for their image. I see “public servants” more concerned with image than with doing what is best for the community.

People act from places of pride and fear and a lack of any real type of conviction.

So, how can we expect there to be the facilitation of genuine, lasting change?

I have been writing recently about GMOs (Genetically Modified Organisms). It has been a steep learning curve.

But, I have been floored – and spurred on – by those who are fearlessly speaking out for the health of their families and future generations.

Food by its very nature should be healthy. It should nourish us and we should feel connected to nature through consuming it. And there should be nothing to fear by speaking the truth on this or other issues when, what it comes down to, is a freedom to choose.

So, this is me tipping my hat to those brave hearts. The people who understand situations well enough to explain things simply. Who was it who said that if you cannot explain something simply you do not understand it well enough?

And to have the self-possession to speak the truth in spite of those who put them down for it.

One of the reasons I became a journalist is because I really value the truth. And I would get incredibly disheartened by people who so casually would speak lies.

It is through connecting with people that speak the truth unabashedly that I am finding the strength of my convictions again. When I focus on those associations the rest – the weaklings creating fake realities – are much less important.

So, thank you to those who care about the truth!

Here it is in the words of Rod Stewart, “Young Turks” ….

Because life is so brief and time is a thief when you’re undecided.
And like a fistful of sand it can slip right through your hands.

Young hearts be free tonight,
time is on your side.

Don’t let them put you down don’t let ‘em push you around.
Don’t let ‘em ever change your point of view.

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Posted in Community, Feeling Connected, Our food system, society, Uncategorized

How to keep a moron busy…. (over)

Posted on May 6, 2013 | Comments Off

gadgetry

He sat on a stool at Starbucks, hunched over and engaged in double-fisted gadgetry.

I sat at a table writing a newspaper story with paper and pen but my eyes kept wandering to the guy with the gadgets.

I was engaged in what we used to call “people watching.”

What was he thinking? What was he doing?

All I could think of was that game we used to play. You would give somebody a piece of paper. On one side it said “how to keep a moron busy… (over).” They would turn the page over and the other side would also say “how to keep a moron busy… (over).”

So, the person would sit there turning the page over and over in a pointless yet humorous display of time wasting and mind-numbing fun.

Or, they would laugh, put the paper down and move on to something else.

You never would have seen someone staring at that piece of paper for hours – turning the paper over and over – blocking out the rest of the world at Starbucks.

I guess that’s what we call progress.

Do you ever wonder if people imagine how “solutions” and advancements might end up being utilized? And if they ponder more than one way of defining their invention.

I wonder if the inventors of weed killers, for example, might have said – hey, let’s convince people that bending down to remove a weed is a bad thing. Let’s pretend that using chemicals is better.

Who would ever buy into that?

It’s called “progress.”

But we need that time now. The minutes saved not having to bend down or kneel can now be used to click gadgets to make our eyes tired, our backs weary and our thumbs numb.

And who will save us from the ill-effects of that?

The game – How to keep a moron busy…. (over) – we thought it was all fun and goofing off. But, it was actually prophetic.

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Posted in Feeling Connected, progress, Simple pleasures

Living a sustainable life

Posted on March 17, 2013 | Comments Off
Mid-March snow yesterday not-so-much sticking.

Mid-March snow yesterday not-so-much sticking.

Sometimes I wonder when and if the universe will be finished with its tests of me.

My life has been full of serendipitous moments lately. It’s been amazing.

At first it was taking me aback. I did not recognize the opportunities for what they were. I thought they were too difficult because they seemed like disruptions.

And it all started back in January, right here when I wrote in my blog that I was revamping my life. That I was making an effort to return to the type of writing that matters to me.

Believe me, I was sure I would be back here eating my words from that blog entry – but I am making really positive progress.

And I see it all around me!

Last night, I was at New Morning Market in Woodbury, CT talking to owner, John Pittari, Jr. He was the one who identified the things I have been going through as living a sustainable life.

And isn’t it amazing that I’m not the only one who wants this type of thing!

We were deep into a discussion about GMOs, the food system and much more when I told him that at the end of 2012 I realized that I had not written about much that mattered to me in the past several months.

I was exhausted, burned out, drained. I wanted to quit journalism.

Instead, I made the decision to change my focus. To return to what, simply, mattered to me.

And this pervaded my life.

And it changed my life. Very much for the better.

I am fortunate that I am in a position to pitch ideas to the editors at the places where I write and they are on-board for the topics I enjoy.

I still do an occasional story that doesn’t excite me but most of what I am doing these days really does.

This gives me so much.

And amazing things have been happening – in all areas of my life.

I am a firm believer that the universe wants the best for us. And that when we get on board and make a choice or take a step that goes along with that plan, good things happen.

It’s like the universe is saying, good choice.

And the momentum builds and the weights drop.

Good people who are also doing their joy show up. The people in our lives are, after all, a reflection of what and who we are.

An important part of this process has been seeing toxic people and situations for what and who they are. And realizing they have no part in my life.

I never thought it would be so hard to get rid of them. But, it was painful. It was leaving behind big parts of who I was. Those things were psychic debris from past bad choices but they were me.

Now, though, I have some really awesome new people in my life. And I have gone deeper with the good, kind people who were already in my life.

I have been able to bond in meaningful ways.

And in that way, the toxic stuff is no longer significant and I don’t waste a lot of time on it.

No surprise, people I have come in contact with have been on the same or similar journeys.

I welcome them into my life and look forward to our travels together as we help sustain one another.

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Posted in Feeling Connected, Nourishment Reunion

Sometimes I just watch the sunrise

Posted on January 27, 2013 | Comments Off

It seems that since the Internet and smart phones and iPads took over our lives that anything that does not require electronics to entertain or inform us is considered old-fashioned.

Here are the top five things – in no particular order – that I still enjoy from the time before there were computers.

1. Getting lost in nature’s beauty

Have you ever taken a walk in the snow and listened to the way your feet press against the snow or the patterns they make? Have you ever stopped to watch as a tree sheds the newly fallen snow from its branches?

To me, there is no better way to stretch my mind than to watch a beautiful sunrise or sunset or notice the glistening of frosted blades of grass during a crisp late autumn dawn.

Some might say this is laziness or a flight of fancy. I say, even if it is one or both of those that we need that. We need to connect with our environment and let our minds wander.

Why else would Mother Nature have made things like the sun, moon, trees, water and animals endearingly beautiful and readily available?

2. Talks with friends and relatives

When was the last time you sat around with a close friend or trusted relative and just talked? When you learned something new through listening to the news from another person’s day?

Regardless of your cell phone plan, you need to talk to people who matter to you, those you share a connection with and with whom you can learn and grow together.

As a journalist, my best resources are the people I know and trust. So, I get great information from friends and relatives. But, I also learn a lot about life in general and myself through the people who share this life with me.

Emails, texting, tweets and Facebook status updates will never replace conversations. At least, I hope not.

3. Letter writing

Are you old enough to remember writing letters regularly? Did you have a drawer full of stationery and pens and stickers and stamps and seals to press onto the envelopes?

Did you ever sit at your desk or a table and spend some time writing letters? Pouring your heart out on to a page with your writing focused on a close friend or family member. Was it written more intimately than anything you have shared of late?

During the days of letter writing we were less distracted and more able to focus on one other person at a time. Things we shared were, well, more personal. And we had special places that we stored the letters we received.

I recently came across a box of letters from when I was college. They are the most beautiful keepsakes. So heartfelt and sincere. I will cherish them, and the time people took to write them, forever. I guess the memories are what we have left of letter writing days.

4. Reading a paper book

Okay, so they do still exist and people do read actual paper books more than they write letters, but the paper ones seem so old-fashioned.

People will say paper books use more resources than electronics. To me, though, getting lost in a book is getting lost inside myself in a really positive way. There is the experience of holding the book and flipping the pages. Maybe writing notes in the margins.

You really, actually interact with a book. They belong to you and show the story of how you read them. Electronic book readers are all the same. They might have their merits but they are so impersonal.

What I’m finding as I write this list now is that, for me, it all comes back to enjoying things that are personal and not all the same. Valuing uniformity is, after all, what destroyed our food system. And maybe it’s time to look at how pervasive sameness is in our lives.

5. Hugs

Remember the last time you were in the midst of a gut-wrenching dilemma and feeling lost? How much better would a hug have made you feel? (I hope you had one to make you feel better. :) ) What about when you were bouncing up and down overjoyed about some victory big or small?

A hug basically goes with any event or emotion. When administered by someone we like or love, of course. But, really, hugs are all-purpose good times. They boost our immune system and our moods. You can hug someone you love or like or lust after. No two hugs are the same.

We all need human contact and sometimes in the course of our busy days we forget. You know who never forgets? Small children. And how loved do they make us feel!

I’m finding myself at a lost really for how to describe the simple beauty of hugs. Maybe because they are like nature – and universal. But, I do know that you cannot keep one to yourself or do a hug alone very effectively. And maybe that’s what makes them special.

Sooooo….. yes, it’s all the sameness of electronics that disconnect us, that make interactions so impersonal. Yes! I think that’s it. What about you?

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Posted in Feeling Connected, Nourishment Reunion, Simple pleasures

The Nature of Change

Posted on October 9, 2012 | Comments Off

There will be many losses along our path. And
people are not taught how to let them go. But these
losses are a part of our change – our growth.

When the leaves fall off of a tree in autumn does the
tree wait for them to come back? No, a healthy tree
grows new leaves. They’re not going to be the same
leaves, but they will be their leaves nonetheless. And
this is the Universal cycle of change which we are all
a part of.

But human nature is to resist change.
So instead we try and hold onto what we feel we’re
losing. And we get stuck.

But it’s time to let go. Time to be all you can be.
Time to take the lessons from the past and apply
them to where you’re going. Take the lessons with
you to the future but leave the situations and old
behaviors and patterns behind.

This can be really hard since we’re so used to
functioning under the banner of those old behaviors.
But if you really think about it, you’ll see that they’re
conditioned responses. And as such can be
unconditioned. It takes time and practice, but it is
very much within the realm of possible.

It’s normal to respond in a way we’re used to. The
first step is to look objectively at your actions and
what they bring you. If you don’t like what you’re
getting from them, acknowledge it’s time for a
change. And bit by bit start piecing together that
change – the pieces of your life.

Many people keep replaying old events in their
heads. If only I’d done X, think of where I’d be now.
If only someone else had seen what was “right”
they wouldn’t have left.

But going back to a situation over and over only
keeps you in that event – which is in the past. You
can replay it as many times as you want but it
won’t change what happened. And it won’t bring
about the changes in you that the Universe is
trying to hand you. Basically, it won’t bring you
any happiness.

Waiting for someone to come and fix what
happened is a waste of time. And each minute
you spend doing that could have been spent
moving forward.

Other people have their own lives and aren’t
responsible for yours. Healthy relationships come
when we don’t need the other person to fix us. We
can support each other as we heal, but we cannot
bring the other person to the place where healing
begins. That can only happen when the individual
lets go of what’s been holding them back.

Talking about what’s happened over and over won’t
change things. Looking for validation from another
in regard to what happened will keep you feeling
invalidated since nobody else can make things
right for you.

And should they?

Think about it this way. Each experience or pattern
we let go of is a loss. And with loss there is just
going to be pain. Allowing those emotions means
allowing all the other ones too though. And there is
a lot of joy out there to experience.

But if you’re holding that piece of history in your
hands, walking around begging someone to take
it from you, you’re not going to find what you’re
looking for. Because nobody else had YOUR
experience. The parcel you’re lugging around is
invisible to them. So how can they take it from you?

Explain things all you want, but that won’t help. All
you’ll get is frustrated and crippled by resentment
because nobody else is helping.

Wouldn’t it be nicer to set it down on the path and
keep walking? The feeling of loss will pass. The
anticipation of that pain is always worse than the
reality. Bid the bit of history a gentle farewell with
kindness and respect for where you want to go.

And when your load is gone – portion by portion -
the only direction you can go is up – and onward.
How liberating! And it’s a feeling only you can
give yourself.

Lighten up. Stop carrying all the ick around.
Trying to change the past is a big waste of time -
big, big big!!

It’s really okay to forgive people and situations. It’s
okay to have compassion and understanding for
others. By saying they deserve it, you’re really
saying you do. You’re saying you don’t deserve to
be stuck back somewhere else.

Forget about who’s right and who’s wrong. Stop
trying to even the score. What you’re really saying
by trying to prove your point is that you don’t believe
in you. Because if you did, it wouldn’t matter what
someone else believed in would it?

By focusing all our attention on changing someone
else’s perspective – someone else’s ideas – we’re
also avoiding working on ourselves. We’re saying
that the other person doesn’t own their own
emotions. And that translates to our feelings about
ourselves.

It all comes back to how you feel about yourself,
which is your responsibility. And you do own your
own emotions – and you own your path.

Saying good bye to the past can be so very hard.
And we can get so caught up in staying put that
we don’t even realize what we’re doing. That static
place becomes our existence. But we’re not meant
to stay in one place. We’re meant to live.

Release the baggage, release others – Life is
change and the nature of change is letting go!

© 2000. Laura Modlin. All Rights Reserved.

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Posted in Feeling Connected, Flirting with nature, Learning from nature, Nourishment Reunion

Blog-o-phobia strikes again!

Posted on September 15, 2012 | Comments Off

I cannot believe it has been two and a half months since I last wrote to you, blog readers. It has been quite an eventful time. I’ve been doing a lot of newspaper journalism and have been on some quests for new paths.

Back at the end of June, I did two more visits for Operation Kitchen Garden, my project where I connect with people who grow some of their own food.

I never blogged about either visit.

Or, rather, I started to write about one but life took me away. And, that’s really no excuse.

As a week or two turned into a month I went through those moments of wondering if it was too late to post about what happened at the end of June. The photos were from early summer and the beginnings of buds and such.

It went on from there. Just feeling that too much time had passed.

Isn’t that life these days though? We have so many ways to connect and end up disconnected in one or more ways.

So, for now I will just say, hey there, my beautiful blog. I haven’t forgotten you!

I intend to be back and I won’t forsake Alicia and Ken’s generosity in allowing me to visit their gardens. I will blog about them in a retro way perhaps.

Another bend in the road.

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Posted in Feeling Connected

CSA shares – what’s in it for you?

Posted on June 24, 2012 | Comments Off

Typically, when you pick up your share in a CSA program there should be enough food to feed an average family of four for the entire week – or however long the time is between CSA share pick-ups.

Unless there are major issues with the crops, an experienced farmer will be able to successfully gauge how much they need to plant in order to fulfill this obligation to their shareholders.

And that is what CSA members are – shareholders in the farm.

They pay ahead of time, without having seen the crops, in order to help support the farm.

Farmers, in turn, reward that investment with the best and first pick of their crops – before their farm stand, farmers markets, restaurant sales or wholesale.

Typically, farmers urge their shareholders for feedback on what the shareholders want to see the farmer grow and how satisfied they are.

And, each week during the growing season, shareholders go to the farm – or an appointed pick-up location – for what should be two large bags or a large box packed full of local, wholesome, tasty goodness.

Farmers, in return, grow loyal supporters and help keep food miles low for their area.

Seems a good give-and-take to me!

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Posted in Community, Feeling Connected, Local Food, Our food system, Small Farms

Know what you like

Posted on June 11, 2012 | Comments Off

The other day, I went to check out a farm – and ya know what, I did not care for it. At first, the setup seemed lovely, but once I asked some questions I became uncomfortable with the farmers.

I think access to farms and farmers is essential and we should use this proximity to our advantage. To know what we like and evaluate if the farmers are on the same wavelength.

For too many, clicking a button has taken precedence over reasoning when it comes to liking things. It has become unnecessary to think. But, when it comes to your life you should. Don’tcha think?

Well, so I was at this farm and the farmers were nice as can be and very welcoming. But, my stomach got to churning a bit when I brought up the topic of what chemicals they use.

They said they are organic but not certified because it’s too expensive. That’s fine. I don’t have a problem with that. But, I asked the simple question of what they use on their crops and they started stammering a bit.

When I asked if they use any chemicals they admitted that they use Round-Up.

Ugh.

They added that they only use it around the flowers. But, they said, people don’t eat flowers.

Uh, but we put them close to our faces and smell them. We touch them and fill vases with water for them. We then dump that water into our sinks and sewers and septic systems.

Those sewers and septic systems filter into the ground where we live – and where our children play and where we grow food.

And what about when the flowers are growing? When the chemicals are on your lawn at the farm? Do animals and insects have access? Are you maybe poisoning honeybees?

And even if it’s minuscule amounts, every bit matters. Besides, just supporting a company that makes a product that is so harmful is upsetting to me.

But, that’s just me.

How do you feel? Take the time to get to know yourself and ask questions. Start at the local level. Ask questions about the way farmers grow their (your!) food, ask where stores source food, learn about GMOs, pesticides and organic.

And know how your want to live your life.

Knowledge is power. Have a great week!

 

This image has nothing to do with my blog entry. I saw this truck the other day and thought the cargo looked like an elephant with a foliage tail.

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Posted in Being Organic, Feeling Connected, food choices, Small Farms

It’s official – we like sex

Posted on May 30, 2012 | Comments Off

I have suspected for years, but now it seems official – we like sex. Well, at least if it is between the covers of a book, Kindle or Nook. Hmm, suddenly, the words, Kindle and Nook seem sexual.

Guess that’s what happens after doing some research on what literature is selling these days and discovering that a new pornographic trilogy titled, “Fifty Shades of Grey,” has taken the marketplace by storm.

The first-time author has generated huge sales, a tremendous market share, millions from the film rights and reinvigorated the sex lives of countless suburbanites.

That last one seems like a particularly mean feat if you have seen the lives of people who live in the suburbs, where all sorts of senses get dulled.

What I think makes this mainstream phenomenon seem so unusual is that the story comes across, to me who has not read it, as  particularly kinky full of fetish sex play.

So, I first heard about this book when I was talking to a friend of mine who is assistant library director at a local library. I am finally able to get going on the book I want to write and have been doing research on what sells. No point in spending all that time working on a book if only my family and friends are going to read it, right.

Anyway, my friend told me about Fifty Shades of Grey. That it is considered really poorly written – just terrible – but people are buying it en masse.

From what I can gather, the story is about a man who contracts with a woman to be his submissive sex slave. FOR THREE BOOKS!

I have to wonder if this is the first time some people are hearing about the fetish world of BDSM. If you haven’t heard about it yourself, you should do a Google.

Maybe we as a society are finally owning up to the fact that people enjoy sex. And a lot of people apparently enjoy reading about sex, too.

I don’t think this interest is anything new. People have been reading dirty magazines, watching pornographic movies, and scouring the Internet for porn for a long time. What is new, perhaps, is the lack  of a stigma – the way it is so mainstream with this series of books.

Yesterday, I was at the post office and a friend of mine was showing me his Nook (or maybe it was a Kindle? I don’t know) and I asked him what books he had. Yup, the first installment of Fifty Shades of Grey was one of them and he is really into it.

I informed him that these books are being called “Mommy Porn” so he better keep it under wraps lest his masculinity get threatened.

He wasn’t concerned.

Actually, I don’t think men have worried much what people think of them for enjoying sex and pornography. It is more the women who have been stigmatized.

I have to admit that I feel a little odd writing about this topic. And I don’t think I would feel comfortable publicly discussing the intimate details of my life in this department. But, I do think if this book is as graphic – and realistic – as people say, then the author was most likely not writing total fiction. There are some things you just cannot make up.

So, good for her for writing these books. And good for her for making a lot of money. I hope she enjoys her success! And I hope many other lives are enriched by the fruits of her labors.

Go ahead and plant those seeds in your own life!!

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Posted in Community, Feeling Connected, Simple pleasures, society

If we don’t post it online, did it really happen?

Posted on May 24, 2012 | Comments Off

A friend of mine is having some minor surgery today. She has been posting updates on a site designed specifically for keeping friends and family informed about medical issues.

I find all this somewhat unsettling.

There was a time when things that happened in our lives were considered private. When people in general would have been horrified by the thought of something happening in our lives becoming public.

It was a price people paid for being famous, infamous or somehow in the public eye.

It was a *price* people paid. In other words, it was considered costly.

Nature knows that clouds capturing the colors of a sunset happens regardless of whether it is posted online - and it is beautiful.

Privacy was valued. Most people did not particularly want to be famous. And, even if you did, it did not involve the public accessibility many regular people either enjoy or abhor or just are oblivious to today.

By writing for a newspaper in the small town where I lived I became known around town. And, to this day, I cannot go anywhere in that town without engaging in a lengthy discussion.

There are lots of nice people but sometimes I really do just wanna be left alone.

Maybe this has something to do with growing up in Manhattan. All New Yorkers understand how to be alone yet together. We can tune out or tune in. People are always there ready to say hi or engage in conversation but it’s not rude to just put on your iPod and go for a walk.

One big difference between life in Manhattan and a place like Easton, Connecticut, is the stimulation.

In bucolic Easton there is abundant nature that can really take your breath away if you just let yourself enjoy it. But, in Manhattan there is hustle and bustle and endless mental and sensory stimulation.

When you’re in a place like New York City and surrounded by people who have something to say and do you’re not really reaching out for attention. It is everywhere.

But, when you’re in a place like Easton, Connecticut, and it is quiet and uninteresting apart from nature, you might – perhaps – need more attention.

For whatever reason, I just don’t understand why people need so much attention to the painfully personal, even intimate, details of their lives. And I certainly don’t get why they post these things ONLINE.

No matter the “privacy settings,” once you post something online it is public.

I used to think of it as a generational thing but now I see it as cross-generational.

Who knows why really. But, if it makes people feel better to make their extremely private issues public, then go for it. I do have to wonder though if they have thought ahead. And what might come back to bite them.

Once something is said, it cannot be unsaid. And once it is posted online, it could end up anywhere.

For the most part, I don’t think people care all that much about what is going on in other people’s lives. So, who are you really posting for? We all are looking for a connection and I do think people can connect to the written word (I hope).

But, I think posting personal details online gives people a false sense of intimacy with the masses. And makes it harder to remember why we reach out to one another in the first place.

I think it can fuel emotional unavailability by giving quick and easy fixes to people who really don’t – or can’t – manage one-on-one relationships.

We all want to feel a part of something bigger than ourselves. Whether it is a family, a community or a group of some type.

But, maybe, by posting such personal details online, it becomes a bit like opening yourself up to the same impersonal “news” we hear on television and radio. It is something we respond to but don’t particularly internalize.

Then, we breed emotional unavailability and disconnect.

Our worlds used to be a lot smaller. And, just like farmers who plant in small batches, maybe the quality is better that way.

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Posted in Community, Feeling Connected, society